I’m beginning to think I have an inverted Midas touch when it comes to household chores-everything I touch turns to shit. This is a bit of a pain as it only adds to the backlog of stuff to clean up. A case in point is- the pure genius of mopping a floor, only to find you have mopped yourself into a corner & either have to exercise your long jumping skills to get back to the door, or walk over what you’ve just cleaned with your filthy feet. But then,-a brilliant idea- remove the shoes & socks & tiptoe gracefully back to dry land. So you launch yourself into a domestic swanlake- only to have the magic cruelly cut short by the agressive floor in the form of a nice splinter. There is no blood, but it hurts. So, you decide to improvise a bit of surgery on your foot. The offending item is removed but you seemed to have butchered your sole in the process- & now there is blood & enough disinfecting liquid on the freshly cleaned floor to bring a tear to your eye. Maybe things would be less dangerous if I somehow suspended the mop & moved the floor underneath it..Would have to employ a few other stupid people to help though..Reminds me of that old joke: “how many ‘Anthonys’ does it take to change a lightbulb? – 100 : 1 to hold the lightbulb & 99 to turn the ceiling.” or alternately- “none- a self help group would be set up called ‘coping with darkness’ “
It’s funny what you find amusing when you have half a tree stuck in your foot.