Everyone has problems & a certain amount of mental anguish, which is amplified if they are physically unfit or in bad health.-That is why it is so unfair, when individuals are struck down, through no fault of their own with an illness, this ultimately has a dramatic effect on their mental health & they have to fight on both fronts, while also dealing with the outside world. It also works the other way round, in the sense that someone’s fragile mental state can profoundly effect them physically-they are trapped inside their heads & have little awareness of their physical envelope.I guess that’s what’s known as ‘depression’.(>insert dancing poodles here-Yay! partytime!!)
Increasingly, I’ve been asking myself-what is mental health? Where do you draw the line? It’s hard to pinpoint in this current climate of regression-the idiots who govern us, rampant fundamentalism, complete disregard for the environment. Of course on a human scale-things can just happen in the brain-resulting in a mental illness, or people are born with a condition. But for the most part, I think people who may be mentally ill today,-initially retreated ‘inside their minds’ as a result of external aggression, physical or otherwise. In my experience, extreme physical pain & mental tourment at an early age can set a path and alter your ‘intended’ personality forever. Then it’s up to you to pick up the pieces & process your experiences-& eventually give something back to the world. I’m probably stating the obvious & the very fact that I’m pondering on the nature of mental health in the first place, may be testament to my being ‘crackers’. I don’t know, why am I writing this? Why do I constantly feel the need to justify my existence?-I know for one thing, many of us are starved of affection & if you don’t go the extra mile & take the step towards others- noone will come towards you. We should stop being so hard on ourselves & just concentrate on breathing, moving, listening, laughing, smelling, running,dancing- and the odd funny walk with a hairy fish-to make those who impose labels on us think they are right!

Lately, I’ve been noticing that when I’m exhausted -I have trouble sleeping & when I’m in good shape- it is short lived and I have this uncontrolable urge to collapse & go to sleep. I dunno, – it might be a form of narcolepsy or something phsycological or both. It’s really starting to piss me off. Right now, it seems that the only thing that can get me out of this cycle where I feel like my brain is out to lunch- is running on a regular basis,- so maybe it’s a cardio thing. I have my suspicions, but I’m afraid to go and see a doctor. I will though, because it’s really starting to handicap me in alot of ways & making me self concious. Yes, running & physical exercise seems to be the immediate & cheapest solution on hand to ‘amplify’ myself & break through the fog. I can’t expect to get anywhere in the rat race if I’m falling asleep:
“So what do you think Anthony?” …..”zzzzzzzzzzzzz”